Circus Story Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

It's funny how you can feel nothing for a place you've called home your entire life. How you can watch it disappear behind dark hills and not feel sad or nostalgic in any way. Nothing for the town you once loved, nothing for the memories of happy times with friends and family or the home you felt safe in... because they have long since been shrouded in shadows. No emotions surface for that town because the only thing that is making you feel anything...is the heat in your hand. That heat is somehow making you feel everything. Sadness at the years spent without it, pain at the thought of it disappearing. It's safer than home.

Alex’s hand slips away and the lack of fire makes her shiver. She turns to look at Alex, wondering why she had pulled away, but Alex was moving to grab the handle of the steel door. It was then that she realized that her hands were shaking, and she felt the goosebumps beneath her white thermal shirt. Somehow Alex had noticed it before she had and was now pulling the door closed. She wrapped her arms around her chest to warm herself as the door squeaked shut, then she turned to Ember. Alex lingered behind as she inched closer to him. His head bowed down as he watched her, waiting patiently. The glint of gold sparkled against his black hair. She reached her arm to run her fingers over the braid, feeling the tiny glass beads on the ribbon and the soft feathers. Her throat tightened as she noticed the shade of pink. The same color of her dress that glowed against his black coat was now glowing in his mane. Alex had been with him when she and Anna had reached the train and now she knew why.

"I think he likes the color too." Alex whispered behind her.

Too...She touched the pink feather on the end and dropped her hand to her side as she turned to face her.

"You made this just for him?"

Alex nodded and put one hand in her front pocket. "Yeah, it's nothing like the carving but...he's not either." Alex moved closer and rested her right hand on Ember's back. "That horse is too showy and tacky. Ember’s not, he's something else entirely."

"Like what?" She smiled, pressing out of curiosity to what Alex was thinking.

Alex sighed lightly and looked at him. "He doesn't need flashy to show him off. It's the other way around. It's the simple things like this..." Alex reached her hand to touch a pink feather, just inches from her own. "... that is perfect. It doesn't take your eyes away from where they should be. He makes everything that he touches more beautiful."

She swallowed hard as she looked to Ember's face. Her eyes burned, because even though Alex was speaking about him. The coral in his hair proved that Alex was talking about her too. It's hard to imagine someone seeing you so much better than you see yourself.

"He missed you." Alex smiled, dropping her arm back to her side.

She smiled lightly at the hidden words in her tone. "Yeah, I missed him too."

Alex turned and sat down on the raw wood floor, leaning her back against a bale of hay and stretching her legs out as she kicked one boot over the other. She turned back to Ember and stroked lightly across his mane and the gold braid. His head was tucked down against his chest and his eyes fell closed, completely calm and peaceful. The same way she felt now. She felt happy with him being content and safe with the girl resting just behind her.

She dropped her arm and turned away, sinking to the warm floor beside Alex. It was scattered with bits of straw, making it a soft place to sit.

"So, what was your back up plan?" Alex asked, grabbing a piece of straw from the floor.

"Uh, Anna said gap insurance."

Alex chuckled lightly beside her, but it was laced with a helplessness. "Yeah, that's not a good back up plan." She whispered. "She should have let you out of the car first."

She watched Alex pick up another piece of straw as she knotted them together into a braid. She knew she had seen fear in her eyes when she saw the car on the tracks, but she hadn't really placed where that fear was coming from. Alex's emotions had changed so fast and now she was going out on a limb to find out if Alex felt anything for her at all. Everything in her gut told her yes, but there was the uncertainty of course. The biggest part of her didn't expect Alex to say yes.

"My back up plan involved going to Charleston." she stated proudly.

Alex's fingers froze on the braid of straw as she met her eyes with an impressed smile on her lips.

"Well, I can tell you from experience that there's nothing special in Charleston."

"Yeah because you weren't there yet." She smiled, scooting lower and letting her head rest against the bale of hay. She watched Alex’s fingers falter for a moment on the straw braid. Just a split second before she picked up another strand and began working it into the others.

"Then Charleston will probably be happy to see us." Alex smiled and looked at her again.

She couldn't help but smile back. Not just because of the way Alex used the word 'us' but because of the way hearing that word made her feel.

"What do you think about me riding him?" She asked. Alex's eyes flickered to Ember thoughtfully, then back to her, stilling the movement of her fingers against the straw.

"I think that you don't realize how amazing that is to witness. You're stronger when you're riding him. Even with knowing that he was leaving you were still channeling yourself into him. It's special."

"You were with him...when you guys were leaving." She noted, studying Alex's face.

"Yeah, I didn't want him to be scared."

"You did that before too, when you stepped out to cut off the storage truck."

"I'd be lying if I said that was just for him." Alex smiled and arched her eyebrows. "That guy drives worse than Anna."

This was why she felt safe. The gestures that showed her that Alex’s cared, even more than her words. Even though the words made it real, it was the actions that spoke louder with her. Alex stepping in front of a truck and Alex sitting here alone with Ember. The coral and gold in his mane that she had braided like the straw in her hand. The way she had taken on such a huge responsibility for her without her even having to ask.

"You were willing to take him for me without asking questions?"

Alex tied another knot in the straw.

"It wasn't about asking questions. I didn't feel the need to because it’s easy to see how important he is to you. Even though you didn't let me pay for him you should know that I would have paid much more." Alex sighed and shook her head lightly.

"I'm sorry about that. You were already willing to take care of him and I couldn't let you pay for him too. It should have been me because I felt like I owed him that much."

"I get that." Alex nodded. "It doesn't matter now because he's still yours and leaving wouldn't have changed that. Besides I feel better now that I know it wasn't because you didn't want my phone number." Alex smiled.

"Really? Ugh okay I'm gonna be needing that check now." She laughed.

Alex shook her head firmly. "Nope, it’s void. And it also doesn't matter because we rarely have service out here and now you're stuck on a moving train with me."

"Not stuck." She shook her head. "But thank you for..."

"No." Alex cut her off. "That's one apology and now one thank you and that means you've reached the daily limit and it's only 5 am."

She scooted closer to Alex. "Wow is it really?" She looked up at the small window above Ember's sleeping head. Still dark but just slightly more blue than black. She looked back to Alex when she heard a jingling sound that brought her back to the night at the bar, watching as she slipped a long thin gold chain from under the blue of her shirt. The chain was so thin it was barely there.

"Ten 'til." Alex nodded, holding a small round clock that hung from the strand. Probably the smallest clock she had ever seen. Smaller than most wrist watches, just resting between her fingertips with a tiny pattern carved into the gold. Several other small charms dangled beside the clock but Alex tucked it back under her shirt and pulled herself up.
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"I think he'll probably be okay here long enough for you to sleep, but if you want, I'll come back." She outstretched her arm to Emily and being able to do that felt good. Being able to possibly do that more often felt really good.

Emily took her hand as eagerly as she had offered it, pulling herself up and brushing the straw from her jeans. Her fingers slipped away awkwardly once she was steady on her own feet and it seemed to make her eyes soften from the lack of touch. They slipped away quietly from Ember's side trying best not to disturb him. He was sleeping happily now and with Emily close by he would truly be okay. They both would.

Emily kept pace at her side as they walked and twisted around the narrow halls of the train. The dining car was easier to navigate because it had two stories to it so it was more open. They walked through the kitchen that had space enough for a few tables but there was a small staircase in the corner that led up to a dining area with observation windows. It hardly ever got used because nobody was on the same schedule so no one ever ate in more than groups of ten and even then most times they would take their food to their rooms or hang out in the commons near the bar.

"Are you hungry?" She asked, looking at Emily. Her attention was only half there. Her eyes were tired and something had clearly drained her, aside from being up all day and night. She was running on fumes. It took her a second to respond but when she did it was only a slight smile as she shook her head no. She went out on a limb to comfort Emily, placing her hand lightly on her waist to guide her as they walked. She wanted the touch but more importantly she wanted to protect her from quite literally falling to the floor from exhaustion. Even with that as her goal and purpose she couldn't help but lose her breath at the feeling of the velvet scarf beneath her fingertips. It felt better on her.

The walk that normally took her five minutes took fifteen and by the time they reached her bedroom door Emily was relying heavily on her support. She threw open the door and flipped a small switch on the wall casting dim light from the small lamp. Emily perked up quickly in her arms and it seemed safe now to let her go, with great pain at missing the hint of sweetness that clung to her body.

Pete had brought her bags in here like she had asked him to earlier in the common’s car. He'd stacked them by the closet and had also thankfully dropped the dirty white shirt and black jeans into the small hamper to save her the embarrassment of her room being a mess. She also spotted the folded contract laying on the small vanity that had been in her back pocket.

The bathroom door was closed so she walked over to open it. "Um, here's the bathroom and there's clean towels and I don't know what kind of things you use but we can go shopping as soon as we stop."

Emily laughed lightly, and leaned against the wall beside the door. "I'm fine with a bar of soap."

The happiness in her voice made her smile too. "Well, I definitely can manage to find you a bar of soap but I think there's already better stuff in there." She teased walking back over to the door to leave. "We should be there sometime after noon but just sleep and we can find a store when you wake up."

Emily nodded but as she reached her hand to the door she saw the smile leave her eyes as she grabbed her arm. "Where are you going?"

She stopped and dropped her hand back to her side, relishing the heat of Emily's hand still on her skin. "I..I told you I'd go back and check on him."

"He's fine and you have to be tired too." Emily insisted, releasing the light hold on her arm. Emily’s eyes were pleading with something inside of her, fighting with something she couldn't place. There was a glaze in her eyes that came with being tired and after several ups and downs tonight, she had lost her second wind and the exhaustion crushed down on her.

"Yeah I'm tired. I was gonna check on him and crash in the lounge that way I'm close to him while you sleep." She felt more like she was soothing a child and that was right at the moment. Emily seemed so close to tears and if Emily cried again...that just wasn't an option.

"Please stay..." Emily whispered

The movement of the train made Emily sway so she reached to steady her, grabbing her hand and hearing the light hitch in her throat. Her legs were giving out on her now and the glaze in her eyes was only getting heavier.

"Yeah, of course." She nodded weakly. She led Emily over to the bed in the small enclosed space and gestured to her to sit down.

The space was like a cubby hole with an arched doorway and curtains that closed. Just enough space for a double bed to fit against the left side with enough floor space for a side table. She was happy to find that she had at least remembered to straighten the deep red comforter, which was something she usually did anyways but it was nice to know the hang-over hadn't caused too much damage to her room. The whiskey bottle was missing from the nightstand where she had left it though. Note to self: Thank Pete.

"I'll leave if you need to change or anything... or there's the bathroom." She moved towards the door again.

Emily shook her head quickly. “No, I'm fine."

She nodded and tucked a hand in her front pocket. "Okay...um you can take the bed and I'll..."

"What? No, this is your room I can't..."

"Yes you can." she insisted. "I can sleep anywhere and be comfortable I promise. Ask the pool table."

"Rough night?" Emily asked, smiling again with more enthusiasm

"Yeah you could say that. One of many. But the couches in the lounge are amazing so I promise I have no problem going if you want me to."

"I mean you can if you really want to but I'd feel better if you didn't. But that's on you." Emily smiled and kicked her boots off.

"I'll stay." She assured lightly, her throat closing in on itself.

She turned away from her and went to the closet. Seeing Emily take off her boots seemed like an invasion of privacy and that's the last thing she wanted to do. This was all new for her and the last thing she wanted was to hover and make this uncomfortable, especially when space was already so restricted. Emily was out of sight with a wall between them, so she pulled her t-shirt over her head quickly and flipped through the hangers. Her necklace hung low in the middle of her chest, but she rarely took it off and the gold was always warm from being close to her skin. The floor on the other hand was drafty sometimes so she grabbed a pale green thermal and pulled it on, tugging it down snug against her skin. She had a thing for shirts like this. Simple and functional and they could serve so many purposes. She could sleep in them or work in them and she had almost every color but...seeing Emily wearing one in the brightest of whites...was beautiful. When it was being paired with the red velvet scarf around her shoulders it resembled what she wore during every show. White under red.

She reached to the top shelf for an extra blanket before closing the door and walking back to Emily. She stopped before she reached her, staring at the way her dark hair splayed out over the white of her favorite pillow. She was curled on her left side facing the only edge of the bed, her arm twisted around the red scarf and tucked under her chin as she slept. It was hard to look away. She could easily stand there forever without feeling the need to move or blink. She unfolded the pale blue blanket and draped it over Emily's body. She flipped the switch on the wall and sunk down to the floor in the narrow space beside the bed, tucking one arm behind her head as a pillow and draping the other across her stomach, letting her eyes fall closed as her mind began to unravel.

Everything in her worried that Emily would wake up in panic when she realized what she had done. When she realized that the choice she made, to place herself on a train full of strangers that was moving her across the country, had been a mistake. Emily seemed so happy and yet she hadn't expected to be a part of what made her happy.

For her, it had all been decided the moment she saw the car lying on the tracks. The moment the fear crept in of not seeing her again because of something completely out of her control especially when it had been her choice to leave. It was Emily saying the words made it real. There was nothing in her mind that was capable of telling her 'no' and there was no reason why she would ever want to. The word 'no' in a sentence being directed at Emily seemed like the worst form of blasphemy.

Emily had appeared in her life again and nothing felt right about letting that chance go. No thought of taking it for granted and no chance of this feeling growing old. Her voice rang loud in her ears as Emily told her that she was wanted. The intensity that came from Emily telling her that she needed to be near her and the relief through Emily's tears when she had made confessions of her own.

How easy it suddenly was to tell Emily that she had been the object of her teenage affection. An affection that was laced so heavily in confusion because she was oblivious at the time to what was really going on and what it meant. Seven years ago, she cared deeply for a girl she didn't know, and those feelings never left. They were dormant...but not gone.

Emily stirred slightly above her, snapping her from her thoughts and catching the air in her throat as her hand fell lightly over the edge of the bed, just inches from her shoulder. She could make out Emily's silhouette perfectly in the dark as she reached carefully, lifting her hand and stopping just before touching the tips of her fingers. Feeling the heat that radiated from her skin though she was cautious not to make contact. Emily needed to sleep and the thought of disturbing her for her own personal need was unacceptable. The outline of her hand in the darkness was clear from the small amount of light through the window and unlike the silhouettes of the hills in the distance...she was in reach. She knew exactly where to find Emily and she was still haloed in light.

On a moving train sleep becomes more of a habit than a comfort but...this floor had never felt softer than it did now.

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She fell weakly to the pillow coated in the scent her body was learning to crave. Wrapping the red velvet scarf around her hand and bringing it to her nose, mixing the texture with the musk. Her thoughts weighed on the scale in her mind. The happiness she felt by being able to be with Ember versus the happiness that came from being close to Alex. She was devastated by the thought of losing him, but the true break had come from losing someone she hardly knew. The sound of the truck fading in the distance was what started the fall and the scent of musk leaving her body and knocked her down completely. It didn't seem possible, but it was undeniable that she was more envious of Ember getting to see her when she couldn't.

The last image she saw was the scale tipping in favor of the hands that placed coral feathers in Ember's hair.

Her eyes opened slowly, breathing shallow and tasting the scent of orange that hung in the air around her. She pressed her face into the pillow, searching for the culprit but it immediately didn't matter what had caused it because she was so lost in what the pillow held instead. After a few minutes of breathing it in and allowing it to wake her gently, she shifted slightly, looking over the edge of the bed. Alex lay sleeping on the red carpet. Her long curls resting lightly over her shoulders with one arm tucked under her head and the other draped across the flat of her stomach. She couldn't remember much after arriving in her bedroom, but she felt sad for not knowing when Alex had changed her shirt. More importantly she felt worse that Alex was sleeping on the floor. Her eyes glided down the length of her body. Her tight jeans and calf-high boots. She had one knee bent up and honestly it was crazy how someone could look so perfect while sleeping. If she didn't know Alex was sleeping by her shallow breaths, she would have assumed she had posed this way while lying deep in thought. Looking at Alex made her quickly question her own appearance and glancing down she noticed the pale blue blanket laying over her body. Another pang of guilt crashed through her body as she tugged it off and sat up quietly, careful not to wake Alex as she inched carefully off the end of the bed. The sky was bright outside the small window, but the room was still dim with a shade pulled halfway down and shadows of trees zipped by. The train was still vibrating softly in movement and the clock on the table told her it was just after noon. She eyed her suitcases in the corner but decided her shirt and jeans were still fine...especially with the scarf around her neck. Alex didn't stir at all as she grabbed her boots from the floor. She didn't move when she placed the blue blanket over her body. Taking a shameless moment to watch her again.

Alex had been willing to take Ember into her care and now her too. A determination formed in her mind and a desire to prove that she could learn to stand strong and that she wouldn't break again. Regardless of how much she wanted to lean into Alex she owed it to her to do everything she could to make it up to her. Alex was selfless and she didn't even know her. She gave her this chance, but she didn't have to, and all of those things made her want to know Alex.

A smile tugged at her lips as she slipped into the hallway and closed the door silently behind her. She took a moment to lean against the wooden walls so that she could slide her feet quickly into her boots.

"Did you sleep okay?" A voice asked.

She jumped and straightened herself up to see Pete coming through the car door. He was tall, probably early forties with clean-cut sandy hair and grey eyes. Alex seemed to be fond of him and he seemed like a kind person. It was clear that they were close. With the way he acted, and the radio clipped to his belt it also seemed like he had a voice on the train, though Alex was clearly in charge.

"Yeah, thanks." She smiled, self-consciously combing her fingers through her hair.

"Have you seen Alex? I figured she'd still be knocked out in the lounge. She said she was gonna sleep back there."

Her words stammered in her throat as she gestured weakly at Alex's bedroom door. "Umm, yeah she's still sleeping. I...I felt bad about her sleeping somewhere else."

Even though his face stayed completely neutral she couldn't keep the flush from her cheeks and all that did was make her thoughts more obvious. Even so...Pete just nodded kindly and pushed up his sleeves to look at his watch.

"Okay well, there's food in the kitchen three cars back so you might want to run." He smiled. "Alex isn't much of a morning person and it's best if you're not around for her charming profanities."

She exhaled quietly, relief that he either didn't notice the blush on her cheeks, which guys usually don't anyways, or that he was really a polite and genuine person. If Alex liked him then the latter seemed more likely.

"Thanks." She smiled and turned towards the car door as he was readying his fist to knock.

"You don't have to thank me." He smiled.

She faltered slightly as she pushed into the common’s car. They sounded a lot alike too. A clear sign that they had been around each other for a long time and it was surprising the amount of envy that she felt at that thought. All the years she had spent not living suddenly smacked her in the face and the reality of what was in front of her was breathtaking and something she didn't want to miss out on. She had missed out on enough while everyone around her had moved on. That couldn't happen anymore. This 'hope' that rested two cars behind her was too good to let slip away.

Upon entering the kitchen car she observed it looked like a home-style kitchen with oversized appliances and a large bar counter fitting eight stools. Tall floor to ceiling cabinets and thick slab counter tops that made it look more like her mom's kitchen than something you'd expect to see on a train. Warm and inviting with chocolate wood floors and bright windows that let the sunlight bounce off of the burgundy walls. It was quiet except for a few people sitting around a corner table that smiled as she entered. She recognized them all from before. The guy with the snake tattoo and three women, one of which had led Anna in a game of strip poker.

"Hey, you must be Emily?" The guy said, standing from his plate on the table. "Pete said we had someone joining us."

She nodded and smiled shyly as she walked closer. "Yeah."

He outstretched his hand. "I'm Riley." The snake tattoo twisted around his muscular arm and she could see the detail clearly. White and black ink with specks of teal and red in the scales. He was younger than Pete, closer to her own age with dark shaggy hair and green eyes. She took his hand and smiled as he turned to the others. "This is Sadie and Faye." he gestured to two girls similar in disposition. Tall and thin, one with flame red hair that was entirely unnatural cascading down her back and the other with a blonde pixie cut that was nearly white. They smiled but went immediately back to whispering something about sequins as they eyed her curiously. It was a little unnerving, but they seemed innocent enough. Like they were gossiping about her clothing in a good way...only, there was nothing special about her clothes now. Her fingers teased the end of the scarf. “...and that's Mary."

Her eyes met with the girl that she remembered clearer than the others, mostly since she had been half naked at the time and absolutely nothing had changed. She smirked playfully in a black satin bra that was three sizes too small. They might as well have been pasties and they still would have covered more. She forced her eyes to stay carefully on the ice blue of Mary's eyes as she extended her hand towards her.

"You're a friend of Alex's?" Mary smiled, shaking her hand.

"Yeah, I mean I hope so." She stammered slightly. For some reason words were becoming difficult and the only correlation she could make was due to the mention of a certain name. Thinking the name was one thing but hearing it out loud was something else entirely. Mary's smile widened knowingly as she released her hand, returning to the bowl of grapes in front of her.

"That's good. That girl pulled me out of the hands of some asshole on a street corner when she was eighteen. Alex is great, which makes it easier to forgive her for being such a fucking light-weight, but she's been alone too long." She said gingerly peeling the skin off the fruit with her teeth.

There's that name again, increasing a flutter through her veins.

"Mar, everyone's a light weight next to you." Riley laughed.

"I know right?" Mary grinned proudly.

"I mean, she has you guys though," she noted. "I can't imagine her feeling alone."

Mary shook her head as she lit a cigarette, blowing the smoke politely towards the cracked window beside her. "We're like family. We can't keep the kind of company that girl needs."

"Real subtle." Riley sighed, shaking his head.

"What?" Mary shrugged and picked at another grape with her teeth.

Her cheeks flushed instantly without her permission to what was being suggested. Something told her Mary was a handful, even though her intentions were good her personality was intense, and now her thoughts were beginning to run away on her.

"Well, I'm sorry if I interrupted or anything I was just going straight through."

Riley is busy digging a pocket knife into an apple but he stopped to look at her. "To be fair, we distracted you." He smiled and sliced a piece off, carrying it to his mouth with his thumb and the sharp blade.

She ducked her head lightly and turned, spotting a bowl of fresh fruit on the kitchen counter and grabbing an apple before she pushed through the door. Letting her thoughts run away with her as soon as she was through, working her way towards the back of the train. Everything she found so magnetic about Alex was evident in everyone around her. They all seemed to respect her and care for her and it was just reinforcing her own feelings. Making them intensify and burn with a fire that was both scary and beautiful. The thought of Alex feeling alone was heartbreaking though because she knew that feeling too well. She felt guilty because nothing in Alex's energy had hinted that she felt alone. Alex was always smiling and so interested in discovering her thoughts and feelings. It hadn't occurred to her before today to really discover Alex's. But she wanted to. Her mind traced over Mary's words with more struggle and all she saw was Alex laying flawlessly on the red carpet. That image caused a different type of flame that seemed to burn so much hotter.

She walked quickly through the halls, using the walls to steady herself as she moved. It was disorienting to walk on something that was moving forward while you were moving in the opposite direction. She had to keep her eyes carefully fixed ahead and away from the ground moving by outside the window. The floor felt steadier as she entered the purple room that Alex had called the lounge. She wouldn't protest sleeping here either. The color was rich, and the couches were a plush white velvet. It was easy to imagine why Alex would like it.

She picked thoughtfully at the stem of the apple as she pushed through the last door. Ember turned his head as she entered, the peace he seemed to feel just knowing that she was nearby was the same peace she felt knowing that he wasn't leaving. She had felt it all before. Before she received the news that he was going to auction she had three years of enjoying peace. At least she thought it was true peace, but it felt so different now. A freedom that was intoxicating and new. It made every one of her senses stronger and more invigorating and only part of it had to do with him. The biggest change came from flecks of coral in his hair. She was given a chance at living again and it had come from the hands that had placed the feathers.

She brushed her fingers down his nose and held the apple in front of his mouth, letting him bite into it before pulling it away. He nudged her shoulder harder than usual and made her step back.

"No." she smiled, taking another step back. He turned and walked towards her as she moved the fruit behind her back. "Stop." she said firmly, holding her ground.

He stopped impatiently and waited, and after a few moments she stepped closer again and gave him another bite. The reason he was easy to train came from his love of sugar. She stroked his neck as he munched on the apple in her hands, absent-mindedly running her fingers across the feathers as her thoughts ran away again. The stallion rearing back with the feathered crown of gold on his head. The feathers now in Ember's mane. She smiled.

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A bang sounded on the door and made her jump and her eyes shoot open.

"What the fuck?" She snapped.

The words came from reflex and without thinking... and she instantly regretted it. She sat up from the floor in panic only to have her eyes fall on her empty bed. Her heart dropped but she felt relief too that Emily wasn't there to witness her choice words. Confusion traipsed that thought quickly though as she looked around the room. Her eyes falling on the pale blue blanket on top of her, making her smile.

"Thirty minutes Alex!" Pete shouted. She groaned and pulled herself from the floor, dropping the blanket on the bed.

"I hate you!" She shouted back, too late because the door of the car was already closing.

Emily's suitcases lay untouched in the corner and the bathroom was empty, which started anxiety in her stomach as she stopped in front of the mirror. Luckily her hair wasn't a wreck. She brushed her teeth quickly and added the usual line of brown under her eyes and the touch of gloss then combed her fingers through the curls. Her clothes were fine for now and she had slept in her boots, so she clipped the radio to her back pocket and left the room. Their stop was twenty minutes outside of Charleston and as she looked out the window in the hallway, she could see the dense green trees hugging the tracks and she knew exactly where they were. She needed to hurry.

She walked quickly and easily. The movement of the train was something she had grown used to. Well, except for crashing stops like last night. She rubbed her shoulder lightly and kept her fast pace. As she reached the kitchen she slowed, faltering from the smirks that everyone around the table was giving her.

"What?" She asked, stopping beside the table. Their smiles weren't at all suspicious. They were completely guilty.

"She went that way." Mary grinned with a sly voice, pointing towards the back-car door. Great.

"What, are you the Cheshire cat now?" She sighed, moving towards the door instantly. Praying they hadn't done too much damage to Emily with their inability to use a filter.

"Anything you want, Hun." Mary laughed.

She turned and put on her best pout before pushing through the door with her back. "You know I don't have what it takes to satisfy you, baby."

Mary nodded approvingly. "Touché."

She shook her head lightly as she left them behind, quickening her pace through halls and past purple walls. No doubt in her mind as to where Emily was and even knowing she was close a tingling quickened under her skin and her breath was lost when she looked through the small door window and saw her. She swallowed hard and slipped quietly through the door, watching as Emily stood beside him. Emily clicked her tongue and brought Ember back up from his knees, turning to her with a smile on her lips.

"Hey. I'm sorry I didn't want to wake you, but I had to come check on him." Emily smiles stepping closer and letting him go back to pulling strands from the bale of hay.

"Waking up to Pete was so much better." She laughed. "Did you sleep okay?"

Emily nods fervently. "Yeah, but I'm not stealing your bed again, so I'll take the floor or sleep..."

"You're not sleeping anywhere else." She insisted, shaking her head firmly.

Emily crossed her arms over her chest stubbornly. "You were going to sleep in the lounge." She pointed out.

"Yeah, have you seen those couches?"

Emily nodded and smiled. "Yes, and I think I'll fight you for them."

She sighed in defeat and shook her head. "And I have a feeling that you'd win that fight, but too many people forget to make themselves decent before leaving their rooms. Mary is the worst..."

"Yeah, I met Mary." Emily admitted, smiling at the sinking of her shoulders.

"See...I was hoping you'd say, "who's Mary?" She shook her head and smiled. "How bad were they?"

"They're fine I promise. They clearly love you and I can see why." Emily's eyes softened and she looked down at her hands tangled together at her stomach. Her words became a whisper. "Thank you for giving us this." glancing at Ember then meeting her eyes again. Even with some distance between them she could see the tightening in Emily’s throat and knew it well because her throat was closing too.

"You don't have to do that with me." Her voice was more pleading than she had intended but it was necessary. "That's two each for today already, and if you take yesterday into account, you're probably good for a lifetime."

Emily smiled lightly, the pink darkening on her cheeks but it faded quickly.

"You were going to leave." Emily noted, taking a small step closer. "You still could have left after I showed up. You could have said no but you didn't."

"I couldn't have said no. I didn't want to. You need to do what makes you happy and you shouldn't have to apologize for that and you don't have to thank me." Emily looked at Ember, her thoughts taking over in the moment. "I already told you that your eyes say it before your mouth does."

She watched the rise and fall of Emily's chest stop completely while she was looking over her shoulder at Ember. She counted the seconds until she let oxygen back into her lungs. Maybe Emily knew she was watching for it and maybe that was the problem. Her eyes flickered over to the window instead and she could see the trees beginning to thin out. The sense of urgency snapped back into her body and she moved quickly to the side door, gripping the handle and dragging it open. The ground was still flying past but that's not where she needed to look at the moment. She smiled when she looked up, reaching out automatically for Emily's hand and breaking her eyes away from the sky to look at her. The softness of Emily's skin appeared instantly in her hand and she closed her fingers tightly around her and pulled her closer to the open door, using her other hand to create a protective barrier between Emily's body and the drop. She watched as Emily leaned closer and followed her gaze towards the sky, seeing the hitch in her throat as she took in the New River Gorge Bridge towering above them. The steel arch nestled deep between two hills, so high above them that the fog created clouds swirling around the pillars.

"It's like being inside one of those model train sets." Emily whispers.

She keeps her right arm steady and strong as Emily leans into it more, still clinging tightly to her other hand. She smiled watching Emily smile at the gateway in the sky, picking out the arch of the bridge that was reflecting in her eyes. She didn't need to look up because she could see it perfectly in the deep brown.