Sleeping
I think perhaps I have underestimated the importance of sleep. I have spent almost my entire life being a shitty sleeper. That is, I often can't fall asleep and when I do manage to get some winks in, the dreams are rough. I don't want to go into those at the moment, just pondering the problem of non-sleep. I don't mind a good 5 or 6 hour night. I can also usually manage to get past the dreams most of the time. It is the 3 to 4 hour nights that get me or when a real nightmare sneaks in and closing my eyes seems worse than being tired the next day. More on that later, for now...a list!
I try to follow pretty strict rules when it comes to going to bed.
1) Bed is for sleeping only. (Of course this isn't true, but I try not to just lounge in or hangout in my bed)
2) Bedtime is 11pm. (Gaa, I suck at this one. I do always try to go to bed at or before 11, but if I am not tired or if things keep me busy later then that, it messes up the whole ritual.)
3) Wake up time is 6am. (This one is pretty easy. Even on the weekends. I wake up at 4am a lot and usually can get back to some sort of sleep, but then by 6 I feel the need for food.)
4) No eating in bedrooms. (This one has nothing to do with sleep. Just a bad habit to eat in bedrooms. I am against it.)
5) Turn on Spongebob. (Look...don't judge. This show as been on for almost 20 years and it works better at putting me to sleep then any other thing I have tried.)
6) If I don't fall asleep in the first 20 minutes of trying, get out of bed and do something else for a minute, then start over with trying to go to bed. (This really helps to get my focus back on track to sleep. If I spend too much time just laying there not sleeping, my brain kicks into "Think about all the things!" mode and that never ends well.)
These rules are meant to help me sleep naturally. This goes back to the same argument I have had with myself before about not wanting to use drugs to alter the parts of myself that I feel I should be able to control. Of course if I slept more I probably wouldn't need caffeine so much. *sigh*
So why am I feeling my lack of sleep is a problem? Mostly it comes down to motivation. I want to do many things. Exercise, write, go out and meet people. All of these things require a lot of energy. The ones with people even more so. If I am tired or only slept a few hours it is really easy to tell myself that I am not up for the things that I want to do. I think I would be kidding myself if I didn't attribute some of this to anxiety and/or depression. Of course they are all connected and I want to treat all of them.
Without much more research I can't really talk about the heath ramifications of not getting enough sleep. Of course I can google and see what I come up with and I can talk to doctors and see what they have to say. In both cases it usually comes back to drugs. Take this pill and you'll sleep. This one helps with dreams. Don't worry, they are non habit forming or just a little, but hey you want to sleep right?
I should say, when I was in college lack of sleep reached an apex of disruption. So I did go the school nurse and I talked to the psychologist as well. I also went to counseling. In my mind I did all that I could and talked to all the right people. I was prescribed anti-anxiety meds, as well as, a sleep aide. I went from not sleeping at all to sleeping almost 12 hours a day. I missed classes and being around people got harder. To be fair to all the people involved I did not handle this well and instead of talking it out and trying a new combination or dosages, I stopped taking everything and stopped talking to anyone. I also stopped sleeping again, but at least this was something I was used too. I am over simplifying this story and making myself sound worse than I am. These people failed me and it took me almost 10 years to try and seek help again after how badly this all went.
Now here I am. Trying again to address the problems I have been ignoring most of my life. Feels like something though. Most people don't try. I might not have figured out the path I want to take yet to solve this little sleep problem, but I'll keep working on it. I will continue to seek help and advice from those I trust and those kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences with me. I think I will post this in the morning, but for now I should go and get ready for bed. Good luck and sweet dreams.
Sharebear
I try to follow pretty strict rules when it comes to going to bed.
1) Bed is for sleeping only. (Of course this isn't true, but I try not to just lounge in or hangout in my bed)
2) Bedtime is 11pm. (Gaa, I suck at this one. I do always try to go to bed at or before 11, but if I am not tired or if things keep me busy later then that, it messes up the whole ritual.)
3) Wake up time is 6am. (This one is pretty easy. Even on the weekends. I wake up at 4am a lot and usually can get back to some sort of sleep, but then by 6 I feel the need for food.)
4) No eating in bedrooms. (This one has nothing to do with sleep. Just a bad habit to eat in bedrooms. I am against it.)
5) Turn on Spongebob. (Look...don't judge. This show as been on for almost 20 years and it works better at putting me to sleep then any other thing I have tried.)
6) If I don't fall asleep in the first 20 minutes of trying, get out of bed and do something else for a minute, then start over with trying to go to bed. (This really helps to get my focus back on track to sleep. If I spend too much time just laying there not sleeping, my brain kicks into "Think about all the things!" mode and that never ends well.)
These rules are meant to help me sleep naturally. This goes back to the same argument I have had with myself before about not wanting to use drugs to alter the parts of myself that I feel I should be able to control. Of course if I slept more I probably wouldn't need caffeine so much. *sigh*
So why am I feeling my lack of sleep is a problem? Mostly it comes down to motivation. I want to do many things. Exercise, write, go out and meet people. All of these things require a lot of energy. The ones with people even more so. If I am tired or only slept a few hours it is really easy to tell myself that I am not up for the things that I want to do. I think I would be kidding myself if I didn't attribute some of this to anxiety and/or depression. Of course they are all connected and I want to treat all of them.
Without much more research I can't really talk about the heath ramifications of not getting enough sleep. Of course I can google and see what I come up with and I can talk to doctors and see what they have to say. In both cases it usually comes back to drugs. Take this pill and you'll sleep. This one helps with dreams. Don't worry, they are non habit forming or just a little, but hey you want to sleep right?
I should say, when I was in college lack of sleep reached an apex of disruption. So I did go the school nurse and I talked to the psychologist as well. I also went to counseling. In my mind I did all that I could and talked to all the right people. I was prescribed anti-anxiety meds, as well as, a sleep aide. I went from not sleeping at all to sleeping almost 12 hours a day. I missed classes and being around people got harder. To be fair to all the people involved I did not handle this well and instead of talking it out and trying a new combination or dosages, I stopped taking everything and stopped talking to anyone. I also stopped sleeping again, but at least this was something I was used too. I am over simplifying this story and making myself sound worse than I am. These people failed me and it took me almost 10 years to try and seek help again after how badly this all went.
Now here I am. Trying again to address the problems I have been ignoring most of my life. Feels like something though. Most people don't try. I might not have figured out the path I want to take yet to solve this little sleep problem, but I'll keep working on it. I will continue to seek help and advice from those I trust and those kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences with me. I think I will post this in the morning, but for now I should go and get ready for bed. Good luck and sweet dreams.
Sharebear
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